Monday, March 7, 2011

Spectroids

"Oh Christ, another day of this garbage", I thought to myself as I saw the car pull up outside the video game store I work at before we have even opened. Due to a chronic lack of payroll hours I was opening up by myself for the third time that week. Not that being alone was that much of an issue. Retail is generally easy work. "Thanks for your purchase! Do you have a membership with us? Have a great day and come back soon!" These phrases have become second nature for me. I've been working there so long that I even find myself accidentally answering my cell phone with the canned greeting I use when answering the store phone. Little did I know that today would be anything but average.

As I finished up with the pre-opening counts, I saw the door of the black Range Rover waiting outside open slowly. "Of course you gotta stand outside the door while I work, of course you do..." I grumbled to myself. After a minute or so, however, nobody had emerged from the car. "Whatever", I thought as I went to unlock the gate and let the impatient asshat into the store. As I approached the door I noticed that there didn't seem to be anyone in the driver's seat and the door was still open. Somewhat strange, but you get used to strange when you work with the public. I unlocked the door and turned to take my post behind the register. As soon as I turned my back to the door the electronic chime signalling that someone had entered the store sounded off. As I turned to greet the customer I was met with a site I will never forget.

The person...no, the creature which had just walked in was beyond anything my mind could fathom. It was easily seven feet tall and thin as a rail. It wore a non-descript black suit. It's face...well, it had no face, only a blank canvas of pale flesh which I could feel staring into the depths of my soul. As it stood motionless I could feel my sanity breaking apart like a stale Laffy Taffy in the pocket of one of the overweight children who frequent the store. After what seemed an eternity it slowly moved towards me with a disjointed gait that only added to my crushing fear. It leaned down so its face was mere inches from mine and spoke to me in a voice that seemed to be mined from the depths of hell itself. I will never forget those words...

"YOU GUYS GOT SPECTROIDS???"  

18 comments:

  1. Hell no lol. It was fun to read

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  2. Jesus christ. That must have been fun.

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  3. Did you just make up this story on the spot? Spectroids?

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  4. Your misery = my humor. only because I know how you feel though! Followed for more misery and rants.

    torrentwatch.blogspot.com

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  5. lol yeah the whole spectroids thing is kinda an inside joke with some co-workers. basically it was an especially annoying customers mispronunciation of the game spectrobes.

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  6. Good write-up, it was entertaining. Looking forward to your future posts! Will follow :)

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  7. Wish I had spectroids! lol :P looking forward to your next post!

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  8. this is very funny to read. i like this

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  9. as soon as I read that last bit, I couldn't stop laughing

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  10. Lol nice man real nice. Inside work jokes are always fun.

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  11. I could see this happening at my book store where they ask for that Stephen King book they made the movie out of. ROFLS

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