Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Munchausen by Internet

Check out this article. I gotta say, I feel bad for people who can't find anyone to care about them in real life. If you have to fake an illness on the internet for sympathy then you have a rather serious problem in your life.

Also, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm battling terminal butt cancer, my dog's best friend died, and the milk I was going to put on my cereal this morning was expired. Pray for me!

Monday, March 7, 2011


"Oh Christ, another day of this garbage", I thought to myself as I saw the car pull up outside the video game store I work at before we have even opened. Due to a chronic lack of payroll hours I was opening up by myself for the third time that week. Not that being alone was that much of an issue. Retail is generally easy work. "Thanks for your purchase! Do you have a membership with us? Have a great day and come back soon!" These phrases have become second nature for me. I've been working there so long that I even find myself accidentally answering my cell phone with the canned greeting I use when answering the store phone. Little did I know that today would be anything but average.

As I finished up with the pre-opening counts, I saw the door of the black Range Rover waiting outside open slowly. "Of course you gotta stand outside the door while I work, of course you do..." I grumbled to myself. After a minute or so, however, nobody had emerged from the car. "Whatever", I thought as I went to unlock the gate and let the impatient asshat into the store. As I approached the door I noticed that there didn't seem to be anyone in the driver's seat and the door was still open. Somewhat strange, but you get used to strange when you work with the public. I unlocked the door and turned to take my post behind the register. As soon as I turned my back to the door the electronic chime signalling that someone had entered the store sounded off. As I turned to greet the customer I was met with a site I will never forget.

The, the creature which had just walked in was beyond anything my mind could fathom. It was easily seven feet tall and thin as a rail. It wore a non-descript black suit. It's face...well, it had no face, only a blank canvas of pale flesh which I could feel staring into the depths of my soul. As it stood motionless I could feel my sanity breaking apart like a stale Laffy Taffy in the pocket of one of the overweight children who frequent the store. After what seemed an eternity it slowly moved towards me with a disjointed gait that only added to my crushing fear. It leaned down so its face was mere inches from mine and spoke to me in a voice that seemed to be mined from the depths of hell itself. I will never forget those words...


Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Hi, potential readers. I've started this blog to have a place to share the mildly interesting observations and stories I have stored in my rapidly degenerating memory for the world to see. I plan on writing some fiction along with the (mostly inane) musings that come to me from time to time. Feel free to comment (insult) me as you see fit in the comments. Hopefully you can at least glean some form of enjoyment from seeing me flail intellectually here. I look forward to our future interactions, positive or negative.

Oh, I also started writing for recently. If you have any interest in the subject, check out my first article, A Beginners guide to Marvel vs. Capcom 3.